Thoughts on dealing with the challenge of "family" during the Holidays

It's that time of year again when it seems that all human beings are fraught with the knowledge that they might actually have to be in the presence of their blood relatives for a day or two of "fun-filled" festivities. Like the" Swallows" that go back to "San Juan Capistrano" each year, many people feel obligated to go home and spend time with relatives that they neither like, nor agree with on most issues. If they had to pick these people out of a crowd to spend time with them as friends, it would not happen. This brings up feelings of regret, resentments, and depression for past and current slights that have not healed or resolved. It is no wonder that suicides increase during the Holiday season. With some easy preparation, one can avoid some of the hardship the Holidays represent. Know your emotional limitations and absent yourself from people and places that make you upset.

While for some, the Holidays is a joyous time, it is also a "marker in time" for those who have lost a loved one during the year. I often hear, how will I get thru Christmas or Hanukkah without this person that has died? The New Year can also bring feelings of what might have been or should have been in the past and again, regrets. 


"Regret is the inability to create a happier past." Therefore, it is imperative that we live our lives in our own truth. What does this mean? It means living honestly and without doing what others want us to do or expect us to do. If we are truly emotionally self-actualized adults, in layman's terms "grown ups" then it doesn't matter what others think of us or don't think of us. Manipulation is not love. When we expect someone to act in a certain way, and they do not, is it our fault or theirs when it comes to expectations being unmet? How does this tie in with going to see family for the Holidays? Well, if you know that your "Uncle Joe"always gets drunk and belligerent after a holiday meal it means that you can either go and subject yourself to the "Uncle Joe" "out of control" show, or you can simply stay for appetizers and a "hot toddy" and wave Happy Holidays as you leave like an adult before all the drama. Will it hurt "Aunt Martha's" feelings? Perhaps, but it may spare you the therapy bills until mid-march when you finally "get it" that staying for dinner with "the relatives" just isn't worth your sanity! 


I actually know divorced partners who wouldn't "spit on the other if they were on fire" agreeing to get together over the Holidays for the "sake of the children." This is the equivalent of rolling a hand grenade into a crowd and hoping that no one is stupid enough to "pull the pin." Children are smart. They get it. You don't like each other anymore, and that hurts. It hurts them too. Try to lower the anxiety for their sake and "let go of your ego" so that they can enjoy the day. If this means that Christmas/Holiday is "just another day" for one parent, then so be it. 


Meditate, on what I am suggesting and let go of the idea that the Holidays are "supposed to go a particular way." Let go of expectations, overspending, manipulative friends and/or relations. Make plans to surround yourself with people who bring you joy. If all else fails, go to bed and relax. January 1st is just around the corner and with it an all new beginning. Everything in moderation, even "Uncle Joe and Aunt Martha."  Namaste.....Karen

How to make sense of physical challenges

So many of my clients have or are beginning to experience their own physical challenges, or are dealing with the physical challenges of relatives. Depending upon the type and severity of the challenge, getting thru the day can seem daunting. We take for granted the ability to walk, type, or do for ourselves. Many clients have asked me why? Why is this happening to me? Why is my mom dying now? What is my health failing? Why me, why now?
Sometimes it has to do with the universe wanting you to slow down so that you can take a different perspective on life. At other times, it is simply that there is a time for every purpose under heaven.

If you find yourself faced with a challenge, ask yourself what you can do to make your life easier and more enjoyable. What is the up-side if there can be one found. Is there a lifestyle change that you can make that will make it better? Pain is a motivator for sure, be it emotional or physical.
Go inwards and meditate on the question of why? You will be surprised when a voice from deep within answers you.  Until then, know that I care deeply about you. Karen

How does mediumship work?

Many of you have asked how I am able to "hear"  those who have passed on. To be honest, it has become a process of learning how to communicate and receive answers. I knew that I was receiving messages thru the cards and so I knew that the Tarot could provide a way for people who had passed over to communicate. The dead communicate telepathically and with symbols primarily. Flowers can mean an anniversary or Birthday that needs to be acknowledged. Pains within my own body can tell me how someone died, or what discomfort that they experienced before they passed on. Once I have acknowledged the pain as not being my own, it will disappear! Sometimes, your friends and relatives on the other side want to say that they are sorry for misunderstandings within your relationships as they have a new perspective after a life review. At other times, they have attended your wedding or party and want you to know they were there. They will give in detail who walked you down the isle, or how the venue looked for the anniversary celebration. The dead live on....Almost all of them will tell me how they died, and all of them attend their funerals mostly to comfort you. If you empty your mind, and sit quietly you can speak with the dead as well. Ask for a message from someone you want to contact, don't judge the information that come thru. Write it down, and go back to it later to see if if makes sense to you. Keep practicing. Mediumship is a process. Love is the connection. Namaste. Karen

When situations change.....and affected outcomes

Question from a client: Do situations sometimes occur that change a previous reading and recommendations and potential outcomes from months before?
Answer: When a client comes in for a reading, and a psychic accesses the future, what they are "seeing" are events that are in motion based on decisions that have already been made by that person. If two people are involved in a relationship, for example, both of those people have "free will" to change their destiny at any time. If the reading is about your work, and your company decides to move its home office, suddenly, is it possible that the outcome the psychic predicted could be off? Yes, if that decision was not "in motion" in the ethers at the time of the reading it is possible.  All this being said, the value in a good reading is that it gives you the knowledge and latitude to make good decisions in your life if situations do change that have not been predicted exactly as you had been told they might unfold in your life. Karen

Psychic Misconceptions - If you were psychic you would know....

Pam Coronado:

If you were psychic you would know my name. If I never hear this statement again, it will be too soon. I am not omniscient (having complete or unlimited knowledge, awareness, or understanding; perceiving all things)nor is any human that I know. I might be able to "intuit" your name if I concentrate hard enough but why expend loads of energy when you can just tell me? This statement seems funny to skeptics but it stems from a lack of understanding how hard one has to work for accurate psychic information. 

Karen Hollis: 

There are many people that come for a reading who are not suitably "impressed" with your psychic ability unless you can intuit their name, and/or a name of a relative, or someone dear to them who has passed away. I call this "stump the psychic." They take off wedding rings, as if I will notice or not notice. (Trust me, a wedding ring no longer signifies commitment with all the infidelity in the world. Sad, but true) Some will lie about their names thinking I have "googled them" in advance - (like I have the time for this nonsense), and others will sit "stone cold-faced" thinking that if they show any emotion it will "tip me off" in some way. (NOPE - it doesn't work that way). Some of the best readings I have done are by phone with only your voice to energetically tap into. The best way to have a "psychic reading" is to just be yourself, relax, try to remain "open" energetically without telling the psychic your life story in advance. When reveal too much, you take away the ability of the psychic to know what is a "psychic hit" and what is not when reading your future. A psychic's conscious mind (what they know of what you have told them about yourself) will fight with the sub-conscious mind (what they are getting as a psychic "hit"). Be encouraging by admitting when a psychic is right about a detail in your life, and make the reading interactive so that you get the most out of it. 

Karen

Pychic Misconceptions - Pam Coronado & Karen Hollis

Pam Coronado

Psychics are psychic all the time.  I don't know about others, but I turn it on and off at will. If I meet you on the street or in the grocery store, I am not going to know your secrets or your name :) Turning it on takes a great deal of energy so when I'm not working, I'm not on. I'm probably pondering what to make for dinner or the best deal on laundry detergent. Besides, privacy is privacy so I don't think it's right to walk up to strangers and impart private information without being asked. On the flip side, I am more sensitive to my environment, especially the emotions of those around me, which can make me uneasy in crowds and noise sensitive. That aspect never shuts off, which I guess is why we are called sensitives. 

Karen Hollis

I tell my clients that I am like that girl in the movie "50 First Dates." Once you leave my office, I probably will not remember your name, whether I have read for you, or anything about your reading. If you come back for a reading, :) It is like I am "Santa Claus" and I know if you have been naughty or nice! LOL Like Pam, I cannot watch anything with violence in it, and I avoid the news because there is way too much harshness in the world. This is not easy as I am married to a man that used to work for NBC nightly news. I leave the room as the television clicks on. If I am standing in the grocery isle, I am not reading you. At the bank, not reading you. Ladies room, yup, you guessed it....not reading you. Could I? Sure, I suppose....do I care to....No. So, breathe easy.....I am just me. Karen

Psychic Misconceptions by Pam Coronado revisited by Karen Hollis

I wanted to applaud Pam Coronado for writing a series of Questions and then responding with answers that helped to clarify for my clients as well as hers what a psychic is and is not. I will Blog post a few of these in the next few days.

Thank you, Pam!

A real psychic would know all of the answers. I think this widespread misconception has been passed down through the ages by fortune tellers and psychics claiming to be perfect.  If you meet one of these, run and don't look back.  No psychic is 100%.  There is simply no such creature.  I get fragments of the story, blurry images and puzzle pieces.  I may misinterpret something I saw or worse, miss something important. I get some answers, rarely all of the answers.  We are humans, I think the biggest aspect of living on this great planet is in the not knowing all of the answers.  There would be no challenge, surprises or mystery if we knew all.

Karen Hollis' comment: This is especially true when dealing with people's relationships issues as both people have FREE WILL to do what they want whether that is engage in leaving the relationship or choosing to stay in the relationship. A psychic can only see as far as a person has made a decision. Think of it as a snapshot in time if you will. If nothing changes, then "this event, meeting, reconciliation, breakup, or whatever" will happen.