Sunday, January 15, 2017

Getting and Being Real in an Upside Down World

"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Sad as it is, I must leave you."
 ~ Quote from The Princess Who Believed in Fairy Tales

So much emotional pain could be averted if people truly thought through what they wanted before starting a relationship with the wrong person. Many clients come in asking why they have spent literally years trying to make lukewarm relationships work. Equally confusing is the phenomena of people pulling "disappearing acts" or "ghosting" after getting intimately involved with others. People tell me that they want closure and not open-ended unrest after intimate relations with essentially strangers in their lives. So, let's talk about this.

In the beginning.....
We, as human beings, are the sum total of what we saw as behavior growing up from our parents, and society. Period. Times have indeed changed, and we can argue that we need daycare and things are most certainly expensive but what a child sees at a young age they will emulate. If they see arguing, alcoholism, abuse, both physical or emotional, then that will be what they consider love. Lack of commitment, absentee parents, and a society that skews right from wrong leads to misery. The first place to begin is with what you observed as a child. How did your family show love? Were you given "things" or were you encouraged to perform given your God given strengths. Was love withheld unless you did what was expected of you? How was money treated? Was is a commodity to be used to create joy and security, or was it made into a God to be only saved and counted, and used to control others? All of this matters when picking out a partner in life. Why? How we order our world depends on how it was explained to us as children through the actions of the adults who were most instructive in our lives as we were growing up. It pains me to see a child screaming "mommy" in a store as the mother is texting on her cell phone, or mindlessly talking to some other adult not understanding that the message she is sending to her child is "you don't matter." How you feel doesn't matter, what you think doesn't matter, and I simply don't care as your mother is what that child is hearing. We then wonder why this same child will grow up to be abusive towards a partner who is "crying to be heard." Childhood matters, parenting matters, right and wrong matters.

Enter adulthood.....
Hooking up, sexting, friends with benefits. Sounds fabulous right. No responsibility and all the thrills. Until reality strikes and we have feelings toward the other person. Why can't I be like other people my clients exclaim? What people, I reply, aliens? What kind of people think that sex without emotion is truly possible? When we don't get real with ourselves about what will constitute good choices in our lives we make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. I often like to quote The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. She talks about what constitutes becoming REAL. Read Below.

          "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" 

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." 



The phrase "not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real" is key. Do you want a real love? or a fake love? Do you want to be Played with? A love that hides behind words that have no real meaning, or one that endures a lifetime? Get REAL folks! It is the ONLY way to happiness. Up is not down, right is not wrong, money does not buy happiness, and actions speak louder than words. Talk is cheap. If your childhood left much to be healed, and you are struggling to know what love really is swear off these Fake relationships. Put requirements on what you expect and deserve in a relationship. Walk away when you are not getting what you need. Love does not have to be hard, and it does not have to hurt. If that is what you saw as a child, then the internal narrative in flawed and it is time to "hit the reset" button and GET REAL. No one will love you the way that YOU LOVE YOU. Speak your truth, stand up for what is right and just no matter the consequence. Live in the Light. No Answer is an answer. No change is an answer. No closure means walk away and is closure in and of itself. Do unto others as they would do unto you is a nice fairy tale and a great "playbook" if everyone were playing by the same rules! See people for who they are, not who you want them to be. I promise you, if you GET REAL, it will bring you joy. 
~In the Light~ Karen

12 comments:

  1. am very happy today with my family. My name is rose sarah living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.Jude a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email virgolovespell@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without stress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email (virgolovespell@gmail.com) or contact him on his whats-app mobile line +2348034062173

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    Replies
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    2. I am sharing this testimony to partners suffering in their relationships because there is an enduring solution.
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    3. How I Got My Ex Husband Back........... I am Imma by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address drojokaspelltemple@gmailcom  have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr. Ojoka . His email: drojokaspelltemple@gmailcom or whatsApp him +2348144172934 

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  2. A GREAT SPELL CASTER (DR.TAKUTA) THAT HELP
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  3. EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL,LOTTERY SPELL,MONEY SPELL CASTER DR GBOJIE  +2349066410185  

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  4. How I Got My Ex Husband Back........... I am Imma by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address drojokaspelltemple@gmailcom  have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr. Ojoka . His email: drojokaspelltemple@gmailcom or whatsApp him +2348144172934 

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  6. HOW I GOT MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF REAL AND EFFECTIVE SPELL FROM DR Osasu My name is Olivia Jayden, I never thought I will smile again, My husband left me with two kids for one year, All effort to bring him back failed I thought I'm not going to see him again not until I met a lady called Jesse who told me about a spell caster called Dr. Osasu , She gave me his email address and mobile number and I contacted him and he assured me that within 48hours my husband will come back to me, In less than 48hours my husband came back started begging for forgiveness saying it is the devils work, so I'm still surprise till now about this miracle,i couldn't conceive but as soon as the spell was cast,i became pregnant and gave birth to my third child,if you need any assistance from him you can contact him via:email: drosasu25@gmail.com Or WhatsApp or call him now:
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  7. I never believed in Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster called DR BEN.. The man i wanted to marry left me 3 months to our wedding ceremony and my life was upside down.he was with me for 4 years and i really love him so much..he left me for another woman with no reasons..when i called him, he never picked up my calls and he don't want to see me around him...so,when i told the man what happened. he helped me to do some readings,and after the readings he made me to realize that the other woman has done some spells over my Husband and that is the reason why he left me..he told me he will help me to cast a spell to bring him back. At first i was skeptical but i just gave it a try...In 4 days, My Husband called me himself and came to me apologizing..I cant believe he can ever come back to me again but now i am happy he's back and we are married now and we live as a happy family..Am posting this to the forum if anyone needs the help of this man.Can contact him through Whatsapp +2348151642717..

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  8. Get Your Wife Back, Perfect Urgent Love Spell. Am Karen Renee from FL Usa All Thanks To Dr Osasu Who Brought Back The Love Of My Life. my girlfriend cheated on me and asked for a breakup. I don't believe at first i try to get back with her but all she told me was she’s with someone else. that she is no longer interested in marrying me at that point i was heart broken because i love my girlfriend so much that i could not let go off her all of a sudden she left me, i really love her and never can imagine my life without her. not until i came across a powerful real spell caster Dr Osasu who promise me 24hours urgent love spell to get back with my girlfriend, good twenty-four {24} hours. hmm-mm, it was a good night time at 11:pm within the days that Dr Osasu told me that my girlfriend will be back, at first i heard the bell rings getting close to my door i heard someone saying honey!!!, it sound familiar i opened the door and i saw my girlfriend standing and weeping in front of me. i was not surprised because its all i have been praying for her to come back home. Guess what 2 weeks after she noticed her system and her body temperature was changed and i took her to clinic for check up and the doctor told me that there is life in her which means she was pregnant i really wants to use this opportunity to thanks Dr Osasu so much and the love page that directed me to Dr Osasu if you have any problem getting your ex back, or predicament that is worse or exactly like this you have been into, contact Dr Osasu on drosasu25@gmail.com You can add him up on Whats-app/ Or call +2347064365391

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  9. Get Your Wife Back, Perfect Urgent Love Spell. Am Karen Renee from FL Usa All Thanks To Dr Osasu Who Brought Back The Love Of My Life. my girlfriend cheated on me and asked for a breakup. I don't believe at first i try to get back with her but all she told me was she’s with someone else. that she is no longer interested in marrying me at that point i was heart broken because i love my girlfriend so much that i could not let go off her all of a sudden she left me, i really love her and never can imagine my life without her. not until i came across a powerful real spell caster Dr Osasu who promise me 24hours urgent love spell to get back with my girlfriend, good twenty-four {24} hours. hmm-mm, it was a good night time at 11:pm within the days that Dr Osasu told me that my girlfriend will be back, at first i heard the bell rings getting close to my door i heard someone saying honey!!!, it sound familiar i opened the door and i saw my girlfriend standing and weeping in front of me. i was not surprised because its all i have been praying for her to come back home. Guess what 2 weeks after she noticed her system and her body temperature was changed and i took her to clinic for check up and the doctor told me that there is life in her which means she was pregnant i really wants to use this opportunity to thanks Dr Osasu so much and the love page that directed me to Dr Osasu if you have any problem getting your ex back, or predicament that is worse or exactly like this you have been into, contact Dr Osasu on drosasu25@gmail.com You can add him up on Whats-app/ Or call +2347064365391

    ReplyDelete