Sunday, March 10, 2013

When you are torn between two of something

Many of my clients come to my office because the men/women that they chose in their youth are not the people that they would choose again as they have aged. Inevitably, they meet another person that makes them feel that "spinning around and in love feeling" that characterizes a new relationship. To complicate matters, they also have children who are pre-adolescents or teenagers. Their spouse has gained weight, lost their hair, their job, and their libido sometimes due to health issues. I empathize with these folks on many different levels. We are all human and as such we fail as we age. We are spiritual, and we sometimes fail in making good spiritual choices for ourselves. One thing that is always brought up when I suggest that love is not leaving when the "going gets tough" is the question: "Don't I deserve to be happy?"Here is a news flash ~ "anyone that you are paying bills and raising children with" will be boring compared to a romantic getaway with a new partner!

In this ME society, we have ceased to focus on the WE that is required as a part of any commitment that we make to another human being. Now, if your partner is a selfish person and completely devoid of wanting to go to therapy to discuss changes. You are in the relationship by yourself! You are either making it better or "rowing the boat alone" as it were. Since a relationship requires two people, you might as well leave and GET HAPPY. However, if you haven't opened your mouth to discuss what is wrong honestly and openly thereby giving your partner the opportunity to change, and you just want to bolt out of the relationship ~ think twice! How would you respond if this were done to you?

Slow down, think twice, finish what you start, and then move on if necessary....

In love & light,