Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Relationships: When to Stay & When to Go

Many of you know me all too well. You know that no matter your decisions in life that I will love you just the same. I won't blow "happy gas" up your skirt or tell you that all will be rosy, but you will hear the unvarnished truth and be able to hopefully make better decisions for it. For all those who I may have offended with my compassionate honesty, let me apologize in perpetuity. I don't know how to be any other way.

There are many different types of relationships that we have, but the most painful can often be those that include a boyfriend, significant other, and/or spouse. I joke, lightly, with people in my office that you cannot go back to being just a FRIEND with anyone that you have "swapped spit or sperm" with in the past! Many men see no problem with this theory, but many women do. Even though we are in an age of equal pay under the law and men and women wanting to serve in the same capacity in the military, I will continue to argue that we are trying to change the natural order of humanity when it comes to how men and women see relationships if we cross a certain personal closeness.

There is a wonderful book written by a person who was tortured by the idea of letting go of what she had in order to experience a new relationship. I would like to recommend it now to all of you who are in the "Do I Stay or Do I Go" category.

The book is Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-By-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum. It is in paperback now and I highly recommend it.

If you are in a relationship and spend a fair amount of your time trying to fix it, or in therapy continually, or find yourself more unhappy than happy. Please seek out a therapist that can help you sort through your own feelings. Many women ask "what does he want?" "What will make him happy?" They need to ask themselves, "what do I want?" "What will make me happy?" Many think it selfish to look at their own needs and worry that they will be "alone forever" if they choose to end a miserable situation. If we face many of our fears "head on" we see that they are unreasonable. There is a "cover for every pot" as my grandmother used to say. If you truly want a relationship, a real relationship, you can have one. No matter your age, girth, social status, etc... All of these obstacles are ego driven and other centered.

Embrace who you are. Don't spend another moment unhappy. Today is the day that God has made for you. No one, not even a good psychic like myself, can predict how many more days you have to be happy here on earth. Seize the moment.

In the Light ~ Karen







1 comment:

  1. Love that line "happy gas" up your skirt. This is a truth serum of blog posts, Karen. Thanks for tellin' like it is -- with honesty and compassion.

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