Thursday, November 1, 2012

Honoring Ancestors - Honoring Yourself

It is that time of the year when we begin to honor the introspective side to ourselves what with winter upon us and Halloween just having passed.
I just recently moved and found a box of old photographs of loved ones who have since passed on and it brought a tear to my eyes. Honoring our ancestors can bring us renewed perspective and peace within our own lives. These are tumultuous times that we live in, but if we put it in perspective it is no more or less disconcerting than what many of our relatives experienced in their lifetimes. As an example, my grand father was born in 1901 and went through the Great Depression 1929 to 1941, World War I which began in 1914 and lasted until 1918, and World War II which began in 1939 and lasted until 1945. I think back to all that he saw and experienced and I think to myself that life is not nearly as hard although it can seem that way at times. Perspective is an important part of living in reality.

If you are experiencing trouble with your job, your children, or with your significant other, it would be worthwhile to sit for a moment and think about all that you have to be thankful for. I am not going to turn this into a "focus on the positive" blog, but I wanted to remind you all that the Universe gives you more of what you focus - Focus on the good stuff!

Namaste~ Karen

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Getting rid of the old to make room for the new!

I am writing this post because I have spent many hours with tears in my eyes working through the process of getting rid of the old to make room for the new. It seems like yesterday that I moved from Colorado back to Connecticut with a tiny baby girl over my shoulder, a divorce decree, (with the ink barely dry), in my hands, and a depression so dark and so deep that I wasn't sure that I would survive it at the time. The psychological experts say that childbirth, job loss, divorce, death (both my dogs passed on), and moving are some of the most stressful events that anyone can go through in their lifetime. I did them ALL in one year - 2001. I refer to it as my "not so good" year. I am over it now! Time to move on!

 Many of you who have move can appreciate what I am referring to when I say that it is not only physically exhausting, but it is emotionally draining as well. The positive side of it all is that it is a way to "free oneself" of unneeded and unwanted attachments to people and things! I have gotten rid of legal papers, old files, clothes, shoes, toys, books, and fortunately (or unfortunately) friendships that no longer were serving me and my growth as a spiritual being. Along with the giving away of "stuff," I have found HOPE, for the future, and a new positive outlook.

I would urge all of you to look through your "emotional closets, " as well as your physical surroundings to see if you are carrying burdens that you can now let go of forever. The moment is NOW - LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Hope for the Future, but seize the moment!

Those are my musings. Blessings. Karen

Sunday, August 19, 2012

FRIENDS ~ Let Go and Relax

Friend ~ The title is loaded with all kinds of meaning.

Why am I writing about friendship? Because many of my clients struggle with what a "real friend" is supposed to be or do. Are friends required to be at your beck and call simply because you personally are going through a crisis? I think that all of us need to examine how much we LEAN ON our friends, and keep in mind that they too have their own "crosses to bear." You never know when you are asking someone to "lighten your emotional burden" only to find out that they are going through a tough time themselves.

  According to Wikipedia: 

The value of friendship is often the result of friends consistently demonstrating the following:
  • The tendency to desire what is best for the other
  • Sympathy and empathy
  • Honesty, even in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth
  • Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
  • Enjoyment of each other's company
  • Trust in one another
  • Positive reciprocity — equal give-and-take between the two parties
  • The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.

Many people call themselves Friend, although they do not act in a manner consonant with the tenets of friendship. They may take advantage of what you do or who your are in the name of "friendship." But are they really friends?

Keep in mind that if you perform some task, or have some skill in a any given area, and they ask for your services gratis, or in trade, but then get impatient and go pay for the same service elsewhere and think nothing of it. Perhaps, that is not a real friend.

After all, friendship should be instantaneous and should provide immediate gratification, to your friend's satisfaction right? Not exactly..............

If you find yourself surrounded by "negative nellies," "users," or friends who try to "keep you all to themselves," you need to ask yourself if you really need these people in your life. Sometimes you will decide that you do, and sometimes you do not. Having good friends is like "weeding a garden" - if you allow people to take advantage of you what are they?

Some of the best friends that I have had over the years I barely see, and rarely speak with, and yet when I call or write it is as if there needs to be no excuse given (they know we are all busy), no apology, (for what? They understand). With others, and with the advent of the internet, I have not personally seen them in person for many years, although we live within an hour of one another, and it doesn't feel like friends the way it used to. Nevertheless, if they reach out to you as much as you try to connect with them, then perhaps the "old spark" of familiarity still exists.

I had one friend, once, where I always drove to see her. Thought of her as a "soul sister" of sorts. Set aside time in my busy life to be there for her and connect. She would inevitably call last minute and cancel, again, with an excuse of one sort or another. Finally, I realized that the friendship was one sided. I stopped calling. The friendship ended because I gave it no energy. If something or someone is negative, starve it by giving it no energy.

At times in your life, you will have many friends especially when you are young. As you age, your friends may get sick or move, or change. Allow the tides of friendship to flow freely. Some shells of friendship will wash up on the beach intact, others will be dashed on the rocks and broken never to be fixed. It is o.k. - you will make new friends. Let go and relax. They are either there for you in a way that does not create stress or you might consider letting them go. Be at peace with your choices and with your friends. Those are my musings.

Blessings~ In love and light, Karen

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Living Each Day

We all get caught in the day to day frustrations. We have to go to work, bank, grocery shopping, etc...but, sometimes there are things in life that make us stop and think. A wedding, a death, a birth, a picnic with friends, are all moments to stop and savor the moment no matter the joy or the sorrow. If we don't live each day purposefully, we miss the unique opportunity to live "in the moment." I speak with people each day who are focused on money, (fleeting), opportunities, (Ego), what other people think, (futility), family dynamics, (frustrating and unchanging), relationships, (expectations which are often too high). What all of these have in common is that they all will go "by the by" as my grandmother used to say. Try not to let other people's judgements on you or what you do or do not do define you. I often use the example of dropping a pen in front of my client and asking: "If I drop this pen in front of you, are you obligated to pick it up?" They appear startled at first, and then a smile begins to cross their face. The illusion is lifted and they can "live in the moment" with the realization that they are not the reality that others have created for them. They do not HAVE to do anything and that is FREEING because they finally realize that what we focus on is a CHOICE. Choose to focus on the GOOD things as much as possible and good things will come to you. Example, loosing your house to foreclosure....freedom from your mortgage and the ability to move about the country freely! Losing your job, you get to start something new that may serve you better and that you truly enjoy. Live each day with purpose and conviction. Spirit wants you to be happy. Embrace today!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Toxic People - Boundaries Needed

We all have them, people that we run from when we see their names light up on our phones. These are the folks where NOTHING ever goes right in their world!  Whether they are our friends, relatives or co-workers everything in us says "run" "hide" "leave me alone" the minute they contact us. How to cope? Boundaries can be your friend, and you don't have to be rude to be firm. If you do pick up the phone, calmly explain that you are very busy at the moment and although you would love to chat you really don't have the time. If that doesn't work, send them an email that says, "got your message," was thinking of you, but couldn't talk due to family and work obligations. Sometimes it is o.k. to just be "unavailable." We are all so connected what with our iphones, androids, etc....Do you really need to know that your friend is at the bank this VERY INSTANT? Take a deep breath, relax, and as they say: "Keep calm & Carry On." Use a little psychic self defense, and take a bath in Epsom Salts to get the negative stuff off of you! Smudge with white sage! Light a white candle! Get out in the sunlight! Deep Breaths!

“The most important skill in staying calm is not to lose sleep over small issues. The second most important skill is to be able to view all issues as small issues.”

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Hello everyone,
I've been reading a book called "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules" by Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D. and I have found it to be a wonderful guide for reflection on a daily basis even if you only have ten minutes of peace in your life to reflect. I recommend it highly.

Many people come to a psychic for advice when they already know that the answers that they are seeking are already inside of them. Some of the best readings that I have done are those where my clients leave saying, I knew all of that! Of course you did. You only forgot momentarily because your sub-conscious and your conscious mind were not working in unison. You are a busy person, like everyone, and having someone who does not know the inner workings of your life circumstances mirror to you that indeed your life is as you perceive it to be is powerful. It helps you to stay in touch with you so that you can make better decisions. Knowledge is power, and readings are powerful tools for personal introspection and change.

Consider having a reading if you have not had one in awhile, you will be glad you did! Always in the Light, Karen

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Why it is important to "Walk Your Talk" with Children & Adults

Recently, a woman came to my office for a reading. This in and of itself would not be startling as that is what I do, "psychic readings." However, she showed up smelling of alcohol from the night before and was about 25 minutes late for her reading. As she sat down, I could see that she was really exhausted and very worried. I began by telling her about her son who was not motivated to go to school, had been doing drugs, and was apparently yelling at her in a threatening way. The woman nodded that indeed this was so, and exclaimed that she just didn't know what to do about her son because he was too big now to "muscle" out the door to school and he refused to go regularly. She was genuinely concerned as a mother, but did not know why this was happening. I told her that apparently her son had witnessed both emotional and physical violence as a child based on her past relationships. He had witnessed his father doing drugs and his mother drinking heavily, and was doing what they had taught him to do unwittingly - be emotionally and physically abusive. The woman seemed confused by what I had just told her. I explained that children learn to behave by what they witness in the home. If you are out of control, or the environment that they grow up in is "out of control," then that is what they think is normal and they will act accordingly. I explained that if she expected her son to be sober, then she would need to model sobriety. If you expect respect, then one has to give it as well. This mom really did want good things for her son, and she began to sob at the reality of the life that she had thus far modeled for her boy. I told her that today could be the day that she changed her behavior and helped him to make better choices as well through her example. She agreed, and I was both relieved and glad that she was able to really hear what Spirit was trying to get through to her. "Walk your talk." Not an easy journey, but a necessary one. Namaste, Karen

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Defining Commitments

Recently, I had a client into my office that had been dating a man for MANY years. In fact, she had spent most of her fertile years with him in what she thought was a "committed" relationship. She had never wanted to be bothered with children, so it was not an issue that he did not want any or that now that was not an option for her. I told her that her "committed man" of MANY years was soon to tell her that he was "moving on." She did not believe me, and wanted him to give her a "commitment ring." Not an engagement ring, but a "commitment ring." On our next appointment she confessed that indeed I had been right. What she found out was that Mr. committed was moving away to a different state and back with an old girlfriend. What my client now wanted to know was, "were we meant to be together, and will he be back?" I told her that he might come back every now and again for physical fulfillment, but not the emotional "commitment" that she was seeking. I asked her pointedly, and many of you know me well enough to know that I don't parse my words, to please define "commitment" for me in her world. She told me that it didn't include marriage in the traditional sense, but that she was looking for someone who loved her enough to stay with her for life. It would be o.k., but not necessary, for them to live together. She did not want to mingle finances. He had to have no children or grown children that she did not need to bother with all that much, and would need to like to travel with her.
I asked her what the "glue" was that was supposed to hold this utopian relationship together? She answered: "Love." I told her that in the twenty-five plus years that I have been reading for people, I have yet to see this type of arrangement between two people that did not end in someone "walking away" at some point or another because someone better had come along to be committed to! I know that seems sad, but it is true. In today's society, it seems that we want what we want with no commitments to another. Nothing to lose if we walk away if someone gets old, or sick, or frail. No money spent that is ours on another, no problems of theirs will stick to us. How sad we have become, and how shallow to believe that "love is all you need."
I am writing this today because I see plenty of selfishness in our society today, and I believe that it will be our undoing. Looking out for one's fellow man is no longer in vogue, not even if you are in a "committed relationship." When I suggested that when a person commitments their worldly goods and pledges thru marriage to "work it out" my client had plenty of ammunition to shoot down my theory on marriage. She had slept with many an unhappily "married man" and was mystified as to why they did not leave such horrific relationships. The answer was simple: They had "skin in the game" - "something to lose." They had to at least stop and think about the prior commitments that they had made. My client answered that she did not want someone staying with her because of money, or property. True, but then what constitutes commitment in our society today? Have we lost our sense of duty to God, country, and family? What do you think? What does commitment mean to you? Do you treat your spouse with the same care as you did when you were dating him/her? Maybe it is time to "try harder." Set the bar "higher" and get some integrity in our dating and relationships? I am just reporting as the Psychic. If Love is the Beginning, Commitment should be the end. My advice, look for someone who would hold your hand in a nursing home, and feed you soup if need be. I watched a husband do that for his wife the other day while visiting an old friend. Now that in my mind is COMMITMENT!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Defining Yourself In The World

I often take a moment to ask myself, how am I defined by my friends, my clients, but most importantly by my personal beliefs. What are my talents, and am I being lazy or am I working to give my best in this lifetime? I think that it is an important question to ask oneself so that our moral compass is not thrown off balance by "things owned" or "other's perceptions." We all have a public persona and a private persona. It is not uncommon for me to go through a box of kleenex a day in my office because people who come to see me are in pain about how they are living their life, and about who they have become. They don't like the way that they are being treated in the workplace and in their relationships, but they feel powerless to stop because bills need to be paid, and children need to be raised. I don't want to get to the end of my life and ask, "what just happened to me?" Therefore, it is wise to take a moment and take stock of who your true friends are, and what commitments that you have made to yourself. This takes self-discipline which is in short supply in the world by any standards. Take a moment and ask yourself; "how am I spending my time?" What does my focus need to be? Am I living an authentic life? What needs to change? What needs to remain? If you do this, you will find what you are avoiding doing, and what you need to focus on more. Those are the words of wisdom for today! Karen

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Finding Time For What Matters - Not Easy, but Necessary!

With all of the running around that we all do daily, it is a wonder that we have time at all to "smell the roses" as the saying goes. I don't know about you, but I am often torn in six or more directions at once. We wear so many hats; individual, mom/dad, spouse/significant other, daughter/son, employer/employee. How to choose what to focus on?
I recently was with my daughter at the hospital because she was sick and had to go to the Emergency Room. As they wheeled in an older gentleman on a gurney, I thought to myself "there but for the grace of God go I." I can assure you he was most probably not thinking about how he could have worked harder or longer in his life at that very moment. He also may not have been thinking about how much money he had amassed and how great that was as he lay there in what looked like a very uncomfortable state. He was by himself, at the mercy of the hospital staff. No relatives I heard the ambulance man say. Hmmmm....I thought. Maybe life is not about skipping the gym and not having any children in your old age. Well, at least I have some family I thought. Better keep that gym membership! Now to prioritize. I think I am going to try HARDER to put what matters most first. How about you? Karen

Sunday, January 15, 2012

What the disabled can teach us about love and life

I was reading a story in O Magazine about a woman named Monica Wood that has a disabled sister named Betty Wood. The story is entitled: What Betty Knows.  It was so touching that I thought I would link it to my blog. We take for granted and forget that we are blessed with what we call "normal lives." Clearly, it is sometimes those who are disabled that are able to show us what real love looks like.

I have a client with a disabled brother who lives in a group home. This woman is one of the most patient, loving and kind individuals because she has had a disabled brother who has taught her about what it is to be family.

When you pray, pray not for things of great value. Give thanks for little things like the ability to love deeply, hold another's hand, and watch out for another fellow human being. The world seeks perfection, and yet in the eyes of Spirit all are perfect in their own way. Seek truth and beauty, but also seek imperfection because God/Goddess can be found in unanswered prayers as well.  In love and light. Karen

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

How to work through blocks in your life

I have friends and clients who swear that they are doing everything possible to meet the right person and have a real relationship. I have others like myself who are a little frightened to lose weight for fear they are noticed. Being noticed has its pluses, but it has its minus' too. After all the Hawaiian saying goes: "the tallest nail gets the hammer." Fear, no matter in what area of your life can be paralyzing. Fear to change your job, fear to move on with life, fear to love deeply, fear to become famous.

 Mary Ann Williamson's quote is one that I read and TRY (I say that word carefully and with conviction) to live by daily: Here it is for all of you that need encouragement today. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Monday, January 9, 2012

When a diagnosis of a life threatening nature happens in a family

Recently, I have had not just a few friends hit with the news that a loved one of theirs might die. This news always shocking is never easy. We feel like we have been punched in the stomach by God. How could this happen, we ask? Why us? I am always asked if this is retribution for something. The answer is I don't think so, I think that it is like fire forging the blade of a sword. Adversity strengthens us.
A dear friend of mine was fine when I saw him two months ago, and is now wheelchair bound and it is shocking on all levels. He used to out ski me on the best and brightest Colorado blue sky days! Now, unable to walk, he is adjusting to his new reality and we are doing the same. The Soul's purpose here on earth is a great mystery. Some say we are here to learn lessons. If that were the case, it would be nice to know what the lessons were in advance so we could move through them quickly and avoid the "yucky" parts. It is wise to take life day by day, and to keep your expectations in check. I have taken to saying thank you on a daily basis for each sunset and each opportunity to be with my child, and my husband. Life is too short to miss the good times. Take lots of pictures, folks. It is sweet to have memories. To all those who are hurting out there, know that I care deeply if you are o.k. There may not be time to connect often, but we will take what we can get. Right? I wish you peace, and less worries. Take Care of you. Karen

Sunday, January 8, 2012

What Makes Us Feel Loved

Recently, I had the unfortunate luck of getting sick with a nasty cold. Like most people I did all the right things. Kept warm, went to bed early to get extra sleep, took echinacea tea, and more vitamin C than one can imagine. Yet, it was the hug from my ten year old daughter that made me feel truly loved. The power of the human touch is powerful, and her sweet words of "mommy, I love you" made me heal more than any medicine ever could.

By contrast, my husband, Mark, grew up in a family where your physical needs were met if you were sick but distance was kept until one felt better. If he gets sick, he goes to bed and you will see him when he emerges from his illness. We can write this off to the difference between men and women, or we can say that some people need more touch and emotion than others. Either way, honoring the person is important.

I would urge all of you to let the ones you love know what you need when you aren't feeling well. If you have a family member with a chronic condition, let your friends know what will help you to cope. We are not invincible. We are Spirits having a "human experience. "

As for me, tea, touch/hug, and an I love you very much will do.  How about you? What do you need from family and friends? Karen