Monday, January 28, 2013

"What Others Think of You Is None Of Your Business"

A fair amount of my clients come to my reading table in visible and palpable emotional pain. Much of their pain is due to what they perceive as judgments about them that originate from co-workers, friends and/or family. A famous international medium, James Van Praagh, once said in a workshop that I attended: "What Others Think of You Is None Of Your Business." I thought that it was one of the most wonderful and useful statements that I had ever heard. It took a bit to wrap my mind around its meaning, but once I embraced it I found peace in its simplicity.

If you truly embrace the idea that other people's judgments on you have no power over you, unless you allow it, you can come to a place of inner peace.

 It becomes a bit more difficult when you are dealing with family members, but it can be done. I often say that high expectations of others can lead to disappointment and many clients look at me quizzically. What I am really saying is that we can only be responsible for ourselves. We can HOPE that others live up to our expectations, but if they do not, who is at fault? Them for not living up to our expectations? Or us for placing those expectations on them?

A good example is the person who is truly emotionally hurt by a person they care about not sending them a greeting card, or recognizing a special event in their life. Should that person recognize your special life event? Perhaps, but if we let go of the expectation that they MUST do what we want them to do we will avoid the hurt and disappointment. Judgments, expectations, all create pain in life.

On another note, as I have become more well known and somewhat successful in my life's work I have found people that I have trusted and cared about being very unkind toward me. Some organizations have not welcomed me back out of jealousy and judgment, and that has hurt tremendously. Again, James' words have rung in my ears: "What other people think of you, Karen, is none of your business." 

Be yourself, laugh out loud, love deeply, let go of expectations/judgments, and remember that as you become more successful in your own life there will always be those who seek the darkness. Show them the light!

Namaste ~ Karen

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