Relationships: When to Stay & When to Go

Many of you know me all too well. You know that no matter your decisions in life that I will love you just the same. I won't blow "happy gas" up your skirt or tell you that all will be rosy, but you will hear the unvarnished truth and be able to hopefully make better decisions for it. For all those who I may have offended with my compassionate honesty, let me apologize in perpetuity. I don't know how to be any other way.

There are many different types of relationships that we have, but the most painful can often be those that include a boyfriend, significant other, and/or spouse. I joke, lightly, with people in my office that you cannot go back to being just a FRIEND with anyone that you have "swapped spit or sperm" with in the past! Many men see no problem with this theory, but many women do. Even though we are in an age of equal pay under the law and men and women wanting to serve in the same capacity in the military, I will continue to argue that we are trying to change the natural order of humanity when it comes to how men and women see relationships if we cross a certain personal closeness.

There is a wonderful book written by a person who was tortured by the idea of letting go of what she had in order to experience a new relationship. I would like to recommend it now to all of you who are in the "Do I Stay or Do I Go" category.

The book is Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-By-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum. It is in paperback now and I highly recommend it.

If you are in a relationship and spend a fair amount of your time trying to fix it, or in therapy continually, or find yourself more unhappy than happy. Please seek out a therapist that can help you sort through your own feelings. Many women ask "what does he want?" "What will make him happy?" They need to ask themselves, "what do I want?" "What will make me happy?" Many think it selfish to look at their own needs and worry that they will be "alone forever" if they choose to end a miserable situation. If we face many of our fears "head on" we see that they are unreasonable. There is a "cover for every pot" as my grandmother used to say. If you truly want a relationship, a real relationship, you can have one. No matter your age, girth, social status, etc... All of these obstacles are ego driven and other centered.

Embrace who you are. Don't spend another moment unhappy. Today is the day that God has made for you. No one, not even a good psychic like myself, can predict how many more days you have to be happy here on earth. Seize the moment.

In the Light ~ Karen

"What Others Think of You Is None Of Your Business"

A fair amount of my clients come to my reading table in visible and palpable emotional pain. Much of their pain is due to what they perceive as judgments about them that originate from co-workers, friends and/or family. A famous international medium, James Van Praagh, once said in a workshop that I attended: "What Others Think of You Is None Of Your Business." I thought that it was one of the most wonderful and useful statements that I had ever heard. It took a bit to wrap my mind around its meaning, but once I embraced it I found peace in its simplicity.

If you truly embrace the idea that other people's judgments on you have no power over you, unless you allow it, you can come to a place of inner peace.

 It becomes a bit more difficult when you are dealing with family members, but it can be done. I often say that high expectations of others can lead to disappointment and many clients look at me quizzically. What I am really saying is that we can only be responsible for ourselves. We can HOPE that others live up to our expectations, but if they do not, who is at fault? Them for not living up to our expectations? Or us for placing those expectations on them?

A good example is the person who is truly emotionally hurt by a person they care about not sending them a greeting card, or recognizing a special event in their life. Should that person recognize your special life event? Perhaps, but if we let go of the expectation that they MUST do what we want them to do we will avoid the hurt and disappointment. Judgments, expectations, all create pain in life.

On another note, as I have become more well known and somewhat successful in my life's work I have found people that I have trusted and cared about being very unkind toward me. Some organizations have not welcomed me back out of jealousy and judgment, and that has hurt tremendously. Again, James' words have rung in my ears: "What other people think of you, Karen, is none of your business." 

Be yourself, laugh out loud, love deeply, let go of expectations/judgments, and remember that as you become more successful in your own life there will always be those who seek the darkness. Show them the light!

Namaste ~ Karen

When Readings Don't Reveal All

Recently,

I had a very good client of mine come in for a reading about her life and someone dear to her in her life that was experiencing addictive behaviors. Naturally, she loves him and needed to know if this nightmare of addiction was getting progressively better. Many of you know that I prefer to use the Mary Hanson-Roberts Deck because it has within it a "To All Believers" card that most traditional Tarot decks do not have. The "To All Believers" card is the card that says: STOP! You are not God, and you are not meant to know everything that there is to know at this time.

How maddening for someone like myself who likes to pride themselves on knowing most of the time what is to come!

Yes, it is true. I have been humbled once again by the power of the unknowable. The cards indicated that the person was running away emotionally by revealing the eight of cups. No kidding, I replied in my conscious mind, but TELL ME if he is getting better. The "To All Believers" card came up again. Why can't I know was my sub-conscious reply? The Judgement card appeared. I won't judge him, if that is the Karmic path, just tell me so that I can direct my client I answered obstinately. The Sun card emerged. I erred on the side of optimism given the absence of the Devil card or the five of cups which would indicate hidden addictions. I think he is going to be o.k. - came out of my mouth. I believe it will be better.

Long story short, I was wrong. True, it was not pretty. WRONG. Gosh how it hurts to say those words. The young man relapsed that very night. So, why did the Sun Card emerge to give her hope and optimism when this event was going to take place. I forced the cards to give me an answer that I wanted to hear. When the "To All Believers" card emerged 2X I couldn't bear not knowing and I "pushed the Universe." So, it lead me to believe that all would be well in the end. That may be so, but for today it is not and it always hurts to make a mistake. The lesson in all this is for us to remember that it is ALWAYS going to be O.K. eventually! I truly believe that this strong individual has a great chance at kicking this habit, but it is true that it is up to him, not his wife, not a psychic, nobody but his free will choice can save him from his future. He may have been deciding at the very moment that I asked the question to relapse that evening. His FREE WILL may have been hiding the truth. I have had this happen when I tap into a person's energy and they show up as either the Queen of Swords or the King of Swords to the High Priestess (me). Essentially, what that means is STAY OUT of my energy. Sometimes I honor that choice, but when I don't honor the "stay out" in the name of KNOWING out of someone else's love for that person, I can be wrong.

From now on......if the card of "you are not meant to know" is shown I will obediently answer, humbly,  I don't know.

Humans, even psychic humans, are fallible.  Namaste ~ Karen