Toxic People - Boundaries Needed

We all have them, people that we run from when we see their names light up on our phones. These are the folks where NOTHING ever goes right in their world!  Whether they are our friends, relatives or co-workers everything in us says "run" "hide" "leave me alone" the minute they contact us. How to cope? Boundaries can be your friend, and you don't have to be rude to be firm. If you do pick up the phone, calmly explain that you are very busy at the moment and although you would love to chat you really don't have the time. If that doesn't work, send them an email that says, "got your message," was thinking of you, but couldn't talk due to family and work obligations. Sometimes it is o.k. to just be "unavailable." We are all so connected what with our iphones, androids, etc....Do you really need to know that your friend is at the bank this VERY INSTANT? Take a deep breath, relax, and as they say: "Keep calm & Carry On." Use a little psychic self defense, and take a bath in Epsom Salts to get the negative stuff off of you! Smudge with white sage! Light a white candle! Get out in the sunlight! Deep Breaths!

“The most important skill in staying calm is not to lose sleep over small issues. The second most important skill is to be able to view all issues as small issues.”

 Paul Wilson quotes

If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Hello everyone,
I've been reading a book called "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules" by Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D. and I have found it to be a wonderful guide for reflection on a daily basis even if you only have ten minutes of peace in your life to reflect. I recommend it highly.

Many people come to a psychic for advice when they already know that the answers that they are seeking are already inside of them. Some of the best readings that I have done are those where my clients leave saying, I knew all of that! Of course you did. You only forgot momentarily because your sub-conscious and your conscious mind were not working in unison. You are a busy person, like everyone, and having someone who does not know the inner workings of your life circumstances mirror to you that indeed your life is as you perceive it to be is powerful. It helps you to stay in touch with you so that you can make better decisions. Knowledge is power, and readings are powerful tools for personal introspection and change.

Consider having a reading if you have not had one in awhile, you will be glad you did! Always in the Light, Karen

Why it is important to "Walk Your Talk" with Children & Adults

Recently, a woman came to my office for a reading. This in and of itself would not be startling as that is what I do, "psychic readings." However, she showed up smelling of alcohol from the night before and was about 25 minutes late for her reading. As she sat down, I could see that she was really exhausted and very worried. I began by telling her about her son who was not motivated to go to school, had been doing drugs, and was apparently yelling at her in a threatening way. The woman nodded that indeed this was so, and exclaimed that she just didn't know what to do about her son because he was too big now to "muscle" out the door to school and he refused to go regularly. She was genuinely concerned as a mother, but did not know why this was happening. I told her that apparently her son had witnessed both emotional and physical violence as a child based on her past relationships. He had witnessed his father doing drugs and his mother drinking heavily, and was doing what they had taught him to do unwittingly - be emotionally and physically abusive. The woman seemed confused by what I had just told her. I explained that children learn to behave by what they witness in the home. If you are out of control, or the environment that they grow up in is "out of control," then that is what they think is normal and they will act accordingly. I explained that if she expected her son to be sober, then she would need to model sobriety. If you expect respect, then one has to give it as well. This mom really did want good things for her son, and she began to sob at the reality of the life that she had thus far modeled for her boy. I told her that today could be the day that she changed her behavior and helped him to make better choices as well through her example. She agreed, and I was both relieved and glad that she was able to really hear what Spirit was trying to get through to her. "Walk your talk." Not an easy journey, but a necessary one. Namaste, Karen

Defining Commitments

Recently, I had a client into my office that had been dating a man for MANY years. In fact, she had spent most of her fertile years with him in what she thought was a "committed" relationship. She had never wanted to be bothered with children, so it was not an issue that he did not want any or that now that was not an option for her. I told her that her "committed man" of MANY years was soon to tell her that he was "moving on." She did not believe me, and wanted him to give her a "commitment ring." Not an engagement ring, but a "commitment ring." On our next appointment she confessed that indeed I had been right. What she found out was that Mr. committed was moving away to a different state and back with an old girlfriend. What my client now wanted to know was, "were we meant to be together, and will he be back?" I told her that he might come back every now and again for physical fulfillment, but not the emotional "commitment" that she was seeking. I asked her pointedly, and many of you know me well enough to know that I don't parse my words, to please define "commitment" for me in her world. She told me that it didn't include marriage in the traditional sense, but that she was looking for someone who loved her enough to stay with her for life. It would be o.k., but not necessary, for them to live together. She did not want to mingle finances. He had to have no children or grown children that she did not need to bother with all that much, and would need to like to travel with her.
I asked her what the "glue" was that was supposed to hold this utopian relationship together? She answered: "Love." I told her that in the twenty-five plus years that I have been reading for people, I have yet to see this type of arrangement between two people that did not end in someone "walking away" at some point or another because someone better had come along to be committed to! I know that seems sad, but it is true. In today's society, it seems that we want what we want with no commitments to another. Nothing to lose if we walk away if someone gets old, or sick, or frail. No money spent that is ours on another, no problems of theirs will stick to us. How sad we have become, and how shallow to believe that "love is all you need."
I am writing this today because I see plenty of selfishness in our society today, and I believe that it will be our undoing. Looking out for one's fellow man is no longer in vogue, not even if you are in a "committed relationship." When I suggested that when a person commitments their worldly goods and pledges thru marriage to "work it out" my client had plenty of ammunition to shoot down my theory on marriage. She had slept with many an unhappily "married man" and was mystified as to why they did not leave such horrific relationships. The answer was simple: They had "skin in the game" - "something to lose." They had to at least stop and think about the prior commitments that they had made. My client answered that she did not want someone staying with her because of money, or property. True, but then what constitutes commitment in our society today? Have we lost our sense of duty to God, country, and family? What do you think? What does commitment mean to you? Do you treat your spouse with the same care as you did when you were dating him/her? Maybe it is time to "try harder." Set the bar "higher" and get some integrity in our dating and relationships? I am just reporting as the Psychic. If Love is the Beginning, Commitment should be the end. My advice, look for someone who would hold your hand in a nursing home, and feed you soup if need be. I watched a husband do that for his wife the other day while visiting an old friend. Now that in my mind is COMMITMENT!

Defining Yourself In The World

I often take a moment to ask myself, how am I defined by my friends, my clients, but most importantly by my personal beliefs. What are my talents, and am I being lazy or am I working to give my best in this lifetime? I think that it is an important question to ask oneself so that our moral compass is not thrown off balance by "things owned" or "other's perceptions." We all have a public persona and a private persona. It is not uncommon for me to go through a box of kleenex a day in my office because people who come to see me are in pain about how they are living their life, and about who they have become. They don't like the way that they are being treated in the workplace and in their relationships, but they feel powerless to stop because bills need to be paid, and children need to be raised. I don't want to get to the end of my life and ask, "what just happened to me?" Therefore, it is wise to take a moment and take stock of who your true friends are, and what commitments that you have made to yourself. This takes self-discipline which is in short supply in the world by any standards. Take a moment and ask yourself; "how am I spending my time?" What does my focus need to be? Am I living an authentic life? What needs to change? What needs to remain? If you do this, you will find what you are avoiding doing, and what you need to focus on more. Those are the words of wisdom for today! Karen

Finding Time For What Matters - Not Easy, but Necessary!

With all of the running around that we all do daily, it is a wonder that we have time at all to "smell the roses" as the saying goes. I don't know about you, but I am often torn in six or more directions at once. We wear so many hats; individual, mom/dad, spouse/significant other, daughter/son, employer/employee. How to choose what to focus on?
I recently was with my daughter at the hospital because she was sick and had to go to the Emergency Room. As they wheeled in an older gentleman on a gurney, I thought to myself "there but for the grace of God go I." I can assure you he was most probably not thinking about how he could have worked harder or longer in his life at that very moment. He also may not have been thinking about how much money he had amassed and how great that was as he lay there in what looked like a very uncomfortable state. He was by himself, at the mercy of the hospital staff. No relatives I heard the ambulance man say. Hmmmm....I thought. Maybe life is not about skipping the gym and not having any children in your old age. Well, at least I have some family I thought. Better keep that gym membership! Now to prioritize. I think I am going to try HARDER to put what matters most first. How about you? Karen

What the disabled can teach us about love and life

I was reading a story in O Magazine about a woman named Monica Wood that has a disabled sister named Betty Wood. The story is entitled: What Betty Knows.  It was so touching that I thought I would link it to my blog. We take for granted and forget that we are blessed with what we call "normal lives." Clearly, it is sometimes those who are disabled that are able to show us what real love looks like.

I have a client with a disabled brother who lives in a group home. This woman is one of the most patient, loving and kind individuals because she has had a disabled brother who has taught her about what it is to be family.

When you pray, pray not for things of great value. Give thanks for little things like the ability to love deeply, hold another's hand, and watch out for another fellow human being. The world seeks perfection, and yet in the eyes of Spirit all are perfect in their own way. Seek truth and beauty, but also seek imperfection because God/Goddess can be found in unanswered prayers as well.  In love and light. Karen